Many people throughout America and even the world see Barack and Michelle Obama as the ultimate couple. After all, the two now seem happy and relaxed whenever they make a rare public appearance. And back when Barack was president, he and Michelle always seemed like the happiest couple to ever grace the White House.
Is all that apparent happiness masking something sinister? Over the years, both Barack and Michelle Obama have revealed some very unflattering things about their relationship. And the more you learn about what they have to say, the more you’ll wonder about how odd this marriage is and how long it’s likely to last.
Ready to start questioning everything you thought you knew? Keep reading to discover the most shocking details about Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage!
Michelle resented Barack focusing on himself
Ironically, most of the tea we have on the Obamas’ marriage comes from Michelle. Since leaving the White House, she hasn’t hesitated to speak her mind about her relationship; for example, in 2018, she admitted that the two have gone to a couples counselor to work out issues in their marriage. And as The Guardian reports, she said in 2022 that she “couldn’t stand” her husband for an entire decade, back when their daughters were young.
What made Michelle Obama so angry at her husband? As People reports, she told Gayle King “My resentment for him was that Barack was prioritizing himself, in a way.” This revelation led to a kind of happy ending, as Michelle learned that it was equally important for her to prioritize her own needs. But the fact that she spent over a decade resenting her husband and his career is something that really raises our eyebrows!
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Nasty arguments that threatened their marriage
They say that it’s healthy for couples to argue. That’s because someone’s complete unwillingness to argue may signify they are checked out and unwilling to fight for their relationship. However, there’s such a thing as too much fighting, and Barack and Michelle often had arguments so nasty that they threatened the marriage!
In The Michelle Obama Podcast, the titular host admitted that she and Barack had intense arguments, even in the early days of their relationship. For one thing, Barack thought marriage was a formality while Michelle thought it was a requirement. And on one occasion, after they got engaged, she took off her engagement ring and flung it into the back seat to emphasize that she was angry enough to call off the marriage.
In that same podcast, Michelle Obama revealed that she and Barack call upon their background as lawyers when they argue, and this sometimes leads to hurt feelings. Usually, his feelings: Michelle admitted that she’d throw out words in the heat of the moment and later forget about them. Meanwhile, Barack wouldn’t, leading to lingering resentment.
Michelle compared herself to a single mother
Since leaving the White House, Michelle Obama has been very candid about her marriage, including its ups and downs. But one of the most concerning things she ever said about her relationship occurred back during Barack’s second term as president. As reported by ABC News, she said, “Believe me, as a busy single mother — or, I shouldn’t say single, as a busy mother. Sometimes, you know, when you’ve got a husband who is president, it can feel a little single. But he’s there.”
The implication is quite clear: she was calling Barack Obama out for focusing more on his career than on his family. That was an ongoing concern, and in another episode of her podcast, she revealed that she had once gotten her husband’s attention by singing “The Cat’s in the Cradle” to underscore that he was focusing too much on work rather than his daughters. In case that was too subtle, she then bluntly told him that he should know these are some of the last years Malia and Sasha Obama would actually want to spend with him!
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Barack Obama’s ambition and Michelle Obama’s sacrificed dreams
You don’t have to be a relationship expert to understand the strain in Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship. In short, he took on one of the toughest jobs in the entire world, and it demanded much of his time and energy. Therefore, he left most of the childcare and other family responsibilities to Michelle, who, in her book Becoming, estimated that she once took on 70% of the family burdens compared to Barack’s 30%.
In that same book, Michelle described feeling like she had to quit her own job and dial back her own ambitions in order to help her husband succeeded. Obviously, things eventually worked out: the couple is now happy, famous, and quite wealthy. But for many years, Michelle resented her husband in part because he got to pursue all of his dreams, and she had to put hers indefinitely on hold to focus on raising the children.
With any luck, that resentment is fully gone. But we can’t help but wonder if it is still there, serving as a fault line that could ultimately split their happy marriage apart.